Are You Someone Special?

Of course you are!

We are all special. It is absolutely essential to our sense of self and well being that we discover and cherish that which makes us each distinctive. It may be ever present in your heart and mind. If it is not, look for it. You may find it buried in what you love to do. You may see it reflected to you in the compliment of a stranger. You may discover your passion and uniqueness through some unexpected event.

When I was young, I didn’t see myself as special in any way. I was actually told that I was weird and had better act “normal.” During those early years, most of us are trying to fit in so I had double duty in doing my best to figure out what “normal” was and then to fit in. It was confusing and frustrating. I couldn’t experience the world the way others did and I didn’t know that. How could I? I couldn’t live outside my experience and my family couldn’t live outside theirs.

Slowly, I came to understand. And then I came to love that thing that makes me special – and yes, weird to many. I love standing in an absolutely still place – seeing, hearing, sensing and knowing someone’s truth – and then supporting each one as she or he connects with the truth of her or his heart. For me, there is brilliance of light and peace when I am working. There is also a deep and profound love and appreciation for the person(s) with whom I am working.

As a fairly high-level telepath, I hear a lot of noise emanating from each person’s space. I hear the trauma. I hear the voices arguing and wanting to be heard. For the client, often the turbulence, pain, confusion and/or resistance are covering up the sense of peace and the confidence that comes with knowing.

At the beginning and end of the day, quiet is my healing. It is vital for me to I start each day with two to three hours of quiet; meditating, walking, reading and writing. In that way, I am the able to be present with the noise of life. I end the day with a little distraction such as a TV or a book and more quiet. This allows me time to process and release all that has happened during the day.

Would I like to be different? Sometimes. But this is who I am and how I am. It allows me to do the thing that I love to do most.

A writer friend and I had a discussion about the inspiration and energy of writing that is ever present even in the most difficult or tedious times. For a musician, there is an aspect of the music that keeps one going even when practice gets tiring. It is the same for accounting, parenting, competing – actually everything in life.

Do not be afraid to know who you are. Embrace who you are and the passions you hold in your heart. Having this knowing and relationship with our piece of the puzzle allows us to not lose ourselves, especially in the difficult times.

I have a friend that collects a unique kind of toy. I had to get my head around this because, yes – I had some judgment until I saw the light in his eyes. That light is love and appreciation for history and all that this collectable represents. It is actually quite beautiful and fascinating. Through his research and collecting, he has acquired a depth of knowledge and an understanding of humanity from a distinct angle that is brilliant, loving and quite humorous.

When I began my journey, it was not cool to be a psychic. I had a lot of odd and honestly, scary experiences. I was called names and rejected from many communities and organizations. I wouldn’t change nor could I. This is who I am, what makes me special and fills my heart. This is my piece of the puzzle.

What is that thing you will never let go of? Is it your love of nature or your understanding of electricity or your ability to be totally present with someone? Do you have something in you that makes you smile, no matter what?

There is something in you that makes you special. It is important for you to find it, OWN it, love your gift and love yourself for this being a part of you. Friends, family or society may find it quirky or strange. No matter. This is yours alone – your unique gift. It is one of the things that makes you special.

I hope you find your piece of the puzzle and treasure it. It is the light that gives brilliance to all that you are.

 

This Crazy Growth Cycle

Everything happens FOR you, not TO you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it – it’s just easier if you do. ~ Byron Katie

I’m in the craziest growth cycle. Even though I have not yet come through to the end of this wild ride, I thought it might helpful to share my insights and experience with you.

Every morning for about a week, I woke up feeling tired, but OK. By 8:30 a.m. I was crying my eyes out. When the sobbing slowed down, I would do my meditation and be fairly good for the rest of the day. I did another short clean-out meditation at the end my workday and was great all evening.

It seemed that the more consistently I meditated, the worse I felt. A couple of days ago, when the crying started, I reached my limit. I was miserable and could not figure it out. I have been consistent with my twice-a-day meditations. They usually clear whatever I am processing and I feel wonderfully happy and quite balanced. But, it seemed no longer to be working. Now I was also beginning to be concerned that I would not be able to enjoy my life and or do my work.

Also, I should add that during this same time period, I recommitted to my evening walks. I had gotten pretty lazy about getting outside when the extreme heat hit this summer. Hmmm…could that caused this kind of shift?

The emotional roller coaster that accompanied the crying consisted of incredibly horrible feelings of self-doubt, purposelessness, self-loathing and other things I don’t even want to remember. In the midst of my sobbing I went through the shopping list of possible fixes: psychotherapy, doing a hormone check, diet, seeing my Naturopath and a myriad of other tools that I know can be effective. The answer was, ‘No, No and No. Do your meditation and the answer will come.’ Again, hmmm…

So I did my morning meditation with particular attention to letting go of and transmuting any and all inappropriate “stuff” in my Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Bodies. Very quickly, I felt like me again. Whew!!!

The question to Spirit was obviously, “What is going on?” The answer I got was – and I invite you to laugh heartily because I have been teaching this for years – that we are walking, talking human trash compactors! When I started diligently taking care of my whole self, (including the evening walks), the emotional trash started coming up and out. The feelings that I was experiencing were not mine at all, but other people’s emotions that I had picked up and been hauling around in my space and my body for who knows how long.

I am so relieved and a little embarrassed. But mostly, I am thrilled that, with consistent meditation and walking, I will let go of all this “stuff” I have been dragging around. I can now handle the emotional roller coaster because I know that “this too shall pass.” It is simply a part of the process. Actually, with the knowledge, the emotional roller coaster has decreased dramatically. No big deal, right?

Well, it is a big deal in that I have been carrying other people’s pain for way too long. It is also wonderful that it is being released and transmuted into healing energy and going where it is needed.

It is great to have an understanding of this crazy growth cycle. It is even better to know that I am now releasing held and stuck energy that wasn’t mine to begin with. And, I am overjoyed because I now have a formula to help me stay clear and clean through this lifetime.

I will walk every evening that I can and meditate twice a day when I am working. Please know that my second meditation of the day is a karmic release which takes me about five minutes. Effective meditation does not have to be long or challenging.

I will also keep my gym membership so I can walk the treadmill and/or elliptical when it is too hot or rainy out.

If you are having unusual emotional patterns right now, consider the information I was given. (It is also a good idea to check with your professional healing team, physical and non-physical). Most of all, listen to your Inner Knowing. Some of you have shared that your personal experience of this was unusual anger, extreme lethargy and increased migraines. I am sure there are many other versions of this crazy growth cycle. We are somewhat unique in the way we manifest our growth and experience our resistance to that growth.

Remember that there are times when healing presents in fairly harsh ways. It doesn’t always mean that you need to take extreme measures. Sometimes staying the course by doing what you know is right for you is the best answer. And remember, “this too shall pass” – because it will.

Blessings for more gentle and comfortable growth cycles for all of us.

The Chain that Binds

There are so very many kinds of chains that bind us – shame, guilt, love, sorrow, fear. The chain that is often the most daunting and inescapable is obligation. This may seem obvious, but it is not. These promises on steroids can be insidious and lurk in murky and obscure ways.

Promises and commitments are appropriate when they serve the highest and best in love and only love for both parties. Obligations tip over the edge into that place of “what the hell have I gotten myself into?” Then they tie or bind us to doing things that are not good for us and, therefore, in the end, are not really good for the receiver. When we do things that we really don’t want to do, we do them with an attitude. That grimace on our faces is usually freckled with victim, regret and anger. It is not pretty. And, it is not healthy.

Recently, I was cranky for no apparent reason. It had been going on for several days. And, as much as I worked with all the tools of healing, the bitchiness kept rising carried on the shoulders of sadness. The more I sought to understand my plight, the faster I fell into the hole of darkness.

I have learned that often the best way to deal with this kind of difficult process is to distract. And so distract I did. I found the most dramatic movie I could handle – one with tons of twists and turns and adrenaline rushes. I got totally absorbed into the movie and therefore, completely out of my self and my issues.

Voila! A shift happened. When the movie was over, I felt a lot better. Clarity surfaced. I understood my dilemma. I had been holding onto a promise that wasn’t right for me. It concerned a project that had been my vision. I had sold it as a great idea that would empower women in large numbers and also financially benefit the organizers and facilitators.

So, how could I step out of the program? What would that say to those women who had joined the mission based on my word and enthusiasm? How would I look to others?

Wow! Those thoughts are laden with false projections and beliefs. I felt obligated to whom and for what? A good idea is a good idea. We can have brilliant inspirations and share them to the world without having to hold on to them. Great concepts and money are in the Universal flow of creation. There are always more where those came from.

I had bound myself through obligation and ego. (Now, those are the deadliest of siblings!) Once I had clarity, I could make a choice based on the highest and best for myself and therefore, for everyone.

After a good night’s sleep, I doubled checked my decision. Yes, obligation and ego were forgiven and gone. Clarity was still holding. Relief and evening jubilation were in the air. The appropriate actions were taken. And, guess what?

I received, in kind, the appropriate responses. I am always heartened and healed by the workings of the Law of Attraction – when we hold ourselves in love without judgment, we get back love without judgment. This unconditional love also came back to me with support and gratitude because I was taking care of myself!

That was a greater gift than I even imagined! I am again happy and at peace. The right person will step up and the program will be completed, as it was and is intended. We will all be doing what is best for our selves and the world.

May we all have this experience – again and again and again. Releasing those chains takes time and repetitive acts of self-love. This is the journey we are on and it can be a magical one!

Do you hear that?

Listen. Be very still. Listen again…

Do you hear that slight rustle in the trees? That’s autumn. She’s pushing in – almost without notice. She’s strong, she’ll make it. Yes, summer is holding on here in Charleston with all he’s got. It’s hotter than blazes and twice as humid.

Still…if you hold your head just right, you can hear her.

Most of us can’t wait to feel that just right, sweet fall weather. We’re hopeful. We’re excited and our bodies want to shiver with anticipation. They can’t. They’re still too busy sweating. We’re doing our best to stay as cool as possible. The weather reports that we’ll be cooling off in the next couple of weeks.

Let me be clear about what that means, Charleston style. Plainly stated, we will drop from the 90’s into the 80’s. The heat index will drop from a “plus 10 degrees” to “no increase.” And, the humidity will drop from 90% plus, to maybe 70%. Oh please let it be true.

Yes, I know I moved here of my own free will. I have made peace with the weather. Still, right now I feel the thrill of anticipation like a kid at Christmas. Actually, this is better than Christmas because it is a whole season – well, really it is two seasons and a bit more.

Autumn brings us crisp, dry paper on which the ink doesn’t run. Autumn invites us to enjoy clothing that doesn’t wrinkle as soon as it touches our skin. Autumn allows us to leave a cookie on the counter while we get a class of milk, trusting that the cookie will not turn to mush before we get to savor a bite. Not to mention that it will be thrilling to turn on the cold and it will actually be…cool-ish, at least cooler than the hot water.

Autumn brings so many gifts.

Such relief. The heat and his twin sister humidity won’t start poking at us again until March or April. We’ll have a lovely time until they begin to pound at our doors driving us to turn the AC on and hide.

Did I say that I love the autumn, winter and early spring in the South? They are heaven. I can usually walk in the ocean all through the winter. We will have time to breathe deeply and travel relatively bug free. The trees start blooming the second or third week in February. Oh, there is so much to get excited about!

As for now, we listen and watch. We wait, a bit impatiently, and we sweat. I will go through my pre-autumn ritual of moving the sweaters and long sleeve shirts to the front of the closet. Perhaps this will help sister Autumn hurry herself along. I will dream about planting lettuces, pansies and herbs as soon as the weather breaks.

Yep, I am sure I can hear autumn coming.

On the Road Again

I just talked with my mom. I’m sure I don’t do that often enough to suite her; she’s a mom after all. As tradition dictates, we both went through our litanies of activities for the upcoming weeks. Her comment, as always, was that I travel soooooo much. Hmmm…Do I? Or is it simply her perspective living in a small town in the mid-west? Her perspective, I’m sure.

I do love to travel – planes, trains and automobiles. Especially automobiles. I even love “adventure driving.” Recently, as I was finding my way through Manhattan and driving faster than my GPS could track, I had to drive in a circle twice to find the right entrance onto the parkway. All I could do was laugh. I was sure the little old ladies sitting on their porches were shaking their heads at the crazy tourist I was.

My rental finally met the on ramp and we were off. Parkways are wonderful driving. Companion to Hudson River, Saw Mill Parkway, surely could tell many a story, if only one took the time to listen. That luxury was not mine. I was on a mission.

One of the best things about parkways is that they tend to be swoopy. For someone who loves driving, that is heaven. I swooped all the way to Rhinebeck NY and back. Diving hills and curves through trees that bring mystery and beauty to the journey. There was no time to give to the mysteries. I was too busy being one with my car in the way that brings freedom to the body and peace to the soul.

Next week offers the opposite landscape – openness and long straight (give or take) stretches of cloudless blue sky. My lungs expand just thinking about it. I will be high – 5200 feet plus (no, not that other kind of high.) Smiles are starting to bubble up from so many memories of driving through Colorado and Wyoming. My arms are getting twitchy and my right foot is getting heavy. Those roads can even make an economy car feel like a like a Maserati.

Yes, taking to the road is good for my soul. I know where the idea of the Sunday drive came from though there is no little old lady in me unless it is the little old lady from Pasadena! I live in a land of no swooping and only one curvy road. We are the Low Country. We have other benefits. Last night, this driver dreamed of hills and long curves and that slight lean…ummm…

Whether you ride a bike or a bike, drive a pickup or a Hugo, weald an RV or a Z, I’ll see you on the rode. We will smile and understand.

Walking In Two Worlds

This is a wee bit of mind expanding writing as a diversion from the norm. I hope you enjoy it.

 

I often find myself between two worlds. They are not any specific two realities. Well, I should say that one remains the same, the third dimensional world my children refer to as the pizza reality. The other world varies. Sometimes it is past, sometimes it is future, but most times it is parallel. That is why sci-fi is not difficult to write. It is simply the channeling of those “other worlds” that exist simultaneously to ours.

According to a particular philosophy, there is no imagination. Anything we might think we imagine or make up exists in some reality somewhere. That makes sense to me because of my work. It is not that I don’t think we are smart enough to have imagination. Quite the opposite. I believe that our intuitive abilities are greater than we know. We actually see and travel to those other planets and universes during our night hours. We write about them because we know them.

I have seen planets birthed out of gases and die in fiery explosion or cold implosion. I have seen souls rush from planets. I have fought in wars more horrible than ever we experience on this Earth. I have awakened with burns on my legs and scars on my body. I have helped societies of people begin programs of compassion, not as study but as evolution. I stand in more than one world.

It is the getting fully home that is the tricky part. Becoming fully present to arguments over possessions and fear of love seems impossible. Listening to queries of a wounded mind after standing in the face of the losses of universes is more than this heart can hold…Yet, I do. I regard our world with calm and a smile. There can be no other way.

Freedom

At this time of the year, here, in the US, freedom is the dominant theme of the season. We think about our military. We think about all the people that don’t have the freedoms we do. We think about sacrifice and compromise for the greater good. It is an important part of our humanity to take time to reflect and send love and gratitude.

Freedom is not merely something that takes place in the external world. There are other types of freedoms that may not appear as grand, but are the foundation of the mindset that allows all freedoms to be attained. It is difficult, if not impossible to hold a consciousness for the world that we do not hold for ourselves.

So, let’s talk about these more personal freedoms.

The one that is on my mind everyday is the freedom of time. There is a lot to do on this planet and a lot I want to do. But, by the end of my workweek, I can’t wait for time to have no obligations – one day that I don’t have to do anything! I’m not saying I won’t do anything. I want a day that simply unfolds with no plan or appointments. I relish a day that is a stream of activities focused from my heart, not my head.

These days, rare as they are, reset my sense of being and my personal sense of freedom. They allow me to be a much more centered and kinder person to my self and others. And, I hear this from many of you. So let’s listen to that vital need of unscheduled time and allow to be a regular part of our lives.

Having time to be is critical to our sense of self and our relationship with all.

What other personal freedoms are important? Every single one.

How about the one I hear most often – freedom from judging one’s self. Stated in positive terms, this is the freedom of self-love and self-respect. Concerns and problems related to this freedom are often subtle and insidious. They can sound like: “I shouldn’t”; or, “I did this too much”; or, “not enough.” We all know the litany. This is an attempt to control our lives, and ironically it is highly restrictive because it takes us out of the flow of love, comfort, creativity and all the other life-giving energies.

Becoming aware of the negative belief that shuts down our ability to choose is the first step in embracing freedom. With that understanding, here is the simple, yet highly effective process that can release limiting beliefs and help you attain greater personal freedom:

  • Acknowledge the limiting belief (to yourself)
  • Bless it (with love and gratitude because you thought it served you for a while)
  • Release it (breathe it out)
  • Transmute it (visualize it turning into the gold light of truth and going to the world as a healing)

Letting go of the internal fight allows us to experience the freedom of love and peace. Devoting ourselves to the freedom of living in love is the greatest gift we can give our selves and the world. When we love ourselves, we are able to stand stronger and truer with others.

Choose to live in freedom. Take steps to live in joy, love, creativity, success, synchronicity and all that freedom brings.

Happy Independence Day – and Happy Every Day!

Becoming a Beginner

Upon returning home from a delightful evening with friends and after a quiet respite on the porch with kitties, I turned on TV for a bit a distraction. I didn’t want any drama so landed on Oprah’s Master’s Class. Justin Timberlake was speaking. I watched thinking it would give me some insight to the whole 90’s thing that I had mostly missed because of my age and work. I was tired. He was profound. So, despite of my desire to sleep, I watched.

In the very last segment, he talked about the joy and importance of always being a beginner. He shared that he loved being at that point where he said, “I have no idea of what I’m doing and let’s do it!” My heart stopped. My brain fogged up. I struggled to listen to his words while old barriers exploded inside me and around me. This concept of consciously and intentionally owning and speaking the words of not knowing were and are life changing.

What was so wonderfully shocking was Timberlake’s saying it out loud. I was raised to believe that we were never allowed to show fear or acknowledge that we didn’t know something. If we didn’t know a word or have an understanding of something, we were expected to nod in agreement and go look it up or figure it out later. Those conditions did help me fine tune my intuitive abilities. Because of those rules, I read maps early, cooked standing on a stool, learned fast and retained a lot of information. They also made for a very uncomfortable upbringing and a perception that I was not very smart. Everyone else knew more than I did, so something was obviously wrong with me.

In reaction to that I have sought out change, new experiences and an expansive life. I love Google and am a walking, talking encyclopedia of trivia on a remarkable variety of subjects. I am always observing everything around me. I used to have an eidetic memory – until illness blew that away. But I still love understanding how everything works and interrelates.

Breathing in the permission to be a beginner each and every day of my life is incredibly freeing. This is a whole new way to participate in life. It takes away all the constraints and allows me to ask questions when I don’t understand something with ease. I get to learn things with ease. The potential is filled with fun. I have permission to make mistakes without huge embarrassment and humiliation.

The old paradigm was, “If you can’t do it well or right, don’t do it.” I didn’t realize until last night how much that old belief was holding me back. It was holding me back from learning new things and really enjoying them. It was holding me back from exploring new cities on my own with comfort. It was holding me back from completing projects because they may have not been perfect. It was holding me back from speaking because my words may have not been brilliant. My holding onto those old restrictions was holding me back from LIFE.

It was incredible to wake up this morning and have permission to boldly and honestly be a beginner. As I walked down to make coffee, I asked myself, “What I would like to learn today? What would I like to begin? What would I like to experience?” So many possibilities. It is a whole new life in a much friendlier world.

Thank you Spirit for keeping me in front of the TV. Thank you Justin Timberlake for being a wise soul. Thank you to myself for paying attention. Thank you readers for reading. I hope you give  permission to yourself to be a beginner today and every day. Gotta go… so many things to learn.

 

 

Mother’s Day

Very early this morning, I sat perfectly still staring into the darkness. Everyone knows you can’t make noise before dawn. It is rude and is sure to disturb Mother Nature. I was gently comforted by the sound of the coffee maker as tears streamed down my cheeks. My mind was reviewing all the women in my family. I am next to the oldest woman in my direct line now. That may sound like a weird statement but I grew up with a mom and stepmom, grandmothers and step grandmothers, and great grandmothers and step great grandmothers. There were aunts and aunties (best friends of moms.) There were great aunts and great-great aunts and many cousins who were more like sisters. We were many – and there was a huge security in that.

It was also a culturally rich upbringing that included German, English, Dutch and Cherokee traditions. We were good, mid-western small town folk. Many had either a small farm right outside of town or used to, and still talked about rain and the prices of corn and cattle.

There was pickle brining, pie baking, beef roasting (way over cooked for my taste) and lemonade making. There was every flavor of homemade ice cream and cobbler. Each summer we could count on gardening with mandatory weeding, always before treats. We were told that the work made the treats taste sweeter and I can tell you it did. The little ones collected eggs, a certain right of passage. There was canning and freezing and butchering. We snapped beans and peas, cleaned corn and told stories.

There was embroidery, quilting and lace making. And there were hands, always hands. Those hands stirred, cleaned, wrung the necks of chickens and bandaged wounds. Rings spun around slim fingers with swollen knuckles that had lost their strength but not their love. My closets and cedar chests are filled with my inheritance from those hands. I see their hands in my dreams. If I’m lucky, I get a glimpse of their faces always with smiles and sparkling eyes.

I am glad I have my mom in all her 82 years. My heart is filled with the love of all the women of my family. Today I miss them – terribly. I feel them around me and know that I am loved. I also know that my inheritance is greater than their work. I am beginning to have their hands with wrinkles and liver spots. I notice that my rings are a little looser these days. I feel like I have been accepted into their circle of wisdom – a little.

My mind questions, “Did I honor you enough?” “Did I show you how special you were to me – enough?” Did I make you laugh enough?” “Did I love you enough when you were here?”

Please know now and in that pre-dawn moment that I love you and miss you, and wish we were snapping beans on the back porch. I would be watching your hands and laughing with your heartfelt stories.

Our Stories

A few days ago I saw a video on FB that made me smile. It was a home video of a young boy dancing in his room. His dad knocked on the door, and then came in. He was overweight, dressed in sweat pants and looked rather scruffy and unremarkable. The boy thought his dad would be angry about the noise and so he had turned the music off. Instead, the dad asked his son to put the music back on. And then he showed him some great dance moves. The boy was shocked. I think the rest of us were, too. It was a great reminder about the value of our stories.

What I smiled about was the fact that all of us have closeted talents, gifts and abilities. We have faced the most harrowing of challenges. We have worked hard and achieved remarkable things. We all have truly interesting stories. Each one of us, in our own way, do and know things that are beautiful and surprising. We live extraordinary lives – mostly unsung. Because they are our experiences, they often feel common and not worth sharing.

How many times has someone asked you what’s new in your life, only to be met with, “nothing really.” Yet, when someone takes the time to probe, and you begin to share your latest experience or understanding, he or she is genuinely awed.

We see this kind of interaction way too often with older people. To young people, they just look old and worn and so the young people dismiss them. The attitude is all too often, “How could they have done anything interesting or important?”

But, when you ask a wise person to share a little of his or her life, what you hear is astounding. Our lives are full of experiences that offer insight, joy, tears, love, healing and so much more than we realize.

We’re human. We like stories. The way we get to know, understand and have compassion for one another is mostly through the recounting of our lives. Facebook has become popular because it is a way to share everything from the very mundane to the extreme.

We also experience our emotions through this simple story telling format. We cry, laugh and even share our FB stream with strangers next to us on the train! We like to and need to share.

I invite you to enjoy a double scoop of joy today!

First, make today self-appreciation day by reflecting on your insights, achievements, talents, acts of kindness and moments of shared love. When we really take in our truths, we create a magnet for more like experiences. Then we see more clearly who we are and what motivates us. We see our authentic selves.

Secondly, ask someone to share something from his or her life. It may take a little prompting, but I promise it will be worth it. Most likely what you will see and/or hear will delight you.

Your gift to the world is to share yourself through your talents and stories. Your gift from the world is to receive and learn from other people. So ask, listen and share!