The Chain that Binds

There are so very many kinds of chains that bind us – shame, guilt, love, sorrow, fear. The chain that is often the most daunting and inescapable is obligation. This may seem obvious, but it is not. These promises on steroids can be insidious and lurk in murky and obscure ways.

Promises and commitments are appropriate when they serve the highest and best in love and only love for both parties. Obligations tip over the edge into that place of “what the hell have I gotten myself into?” Then they tie or bind us to doing things that are not good for us and, therefore, in the end, are not really good for the receiver. When we do things that we really don’t want to do, we do them with an attitude. That grimace on our faces is usually freckled with victim, regret and anger. It is not pretty. And, it is not healthy.

Recently, I was cranky for no apparent reason. It had been going on for several days. And, as much as I worked with all the tools of healing, the bitchiness kept rising carried on the shoulders of sadness. The more I sought to understand my plight, the faster I fell into the hole of darkness.

I have learned that often the best way to deal with this kind of difficult process is to distract. And so distract I did. I found the most dramatic movie I could handle – one with tons of twists and turns and adrenaline rushes. I got totally absorbed into the movie and therefore, completely out of my self and my issues.

Voila! A shift happened. When the movie was over, I felt a lot better. Clarity surfaced. I understood my dilemma. I had been holding onto a promise that wasn’t right for me. It concerned a project that had been my vision. I had sold it as a great idea that would empower women in large numbers and also financially benefit the organizers and facilitators.

So, how could I step out of the program? What would that say to those women who had joined the mission based on my word and enthusiasm? How would I look to others?

Wow! Those thoughts are laden with false projections and beliefs. I felt obligated to whom and for what? A good idea is a good idea. We can have brilliant inspirations and share them to the world without having to hold on to them. Great concepts and money are in the Universal flow of creation. There are always more where those came from.

I had bound myself through obligation and ego. (Now, those are the deadliest of siblings!) Once I had clarity, I could make a choice based on the highest and best for myself and therefore, for everyone.

After a good night’s sleep, I doubled checked my decision. Yes, obligation and ego were forgiven and gone. Clarity was still holding. Relief and evening jubilation were in the air. The appropriate actions were taken. And, guess what?

I received, in kind, the appropriate responses. I am always heartened and healed by the workings of the Law of Attraction – when we hold ourselves in love without judgment, we get back love without judgment. This unconditional love also came back to me with support and gratitude because I was taking care of myself!

That was a greater gift than I even imagined! I am again happy and at peace. The right person will step up and the program will be completed, as it was and is intended. We will all be doing what is best for our selves and the world.

May we all have this experience – again and again and again. Releasing those chains takes time and repetitive acts of self-love. This is the journey we are on and it can be a magical one!

Do you hear that?

Listen. Be very still. Listen again…

Do you hear that slight rustle in the trees? That’s autumn. She’s pushing in – almost without notice. She’s strong, she’ll make it. Yes, summer is holding on here in Charleston with all he’s got. It’s hotter than blazes and twice as humid.

Still…if you hold your head just right, you can hear her.

Most of us can’t wait to feel that just right, sweet fall weather. We’re hopeful. We’re excited and our bodies want to shiver with anticipation. They can’t. They’re still too busy sweating. We’re doing our best to stay as cool as possible. The weather reports that we’ll be cooling off in the next couple of weeks.

Let me be clear about what that means, Charleston style. Plainly stated, we will drop from the 90’s into the 80’s. The heat index will drop from a “plus 10 degrees” to “no increase.” And, the humidity will drop from 90% plus, to maybe 70%. Oh please let it be true.

Yes, I know I moved here of my own free will. I have made peace with the weather. Still, right now I feel the thrill of anticipation like a kid at Christmas. Actually, this is better than Christmas because it is a whole season – well, really it is two seasons and a bit more.

Autumn brings us crisp, dry paper on which the ink doesn’t run. Autumn invites us to enjoy clothing that doesn’t wrinkle as soon as it touches our skin. Autumn allows us to leave a cookie on the counter while we get a class of milk, trusting that the cookie will not turn to mush before we get to savor a bite. Not to mention that it will be thrilling to turn on the cold and it will actually be…cool-ish, at least cooler than the hot water.

Autumn brings so many gifts.

Such relief. The heat and his twin sister humidity won’t start poking at us again until March or April. We’ll have a lovely time until they begin to pound at our doors driving us to turn the AC on and hide.

Did I say that I love the autumn, winter and early spring in the South? They are heaven. I can usually walk in the ocean all through the winter. We will have time to breathe deeply and travel relatively bug free. The trees start blooming the second or third week in February. Oh, there is so much to get excited about!

As for now, we listen and watch. We wait, a bit impatiently, and we sweat. I will go through my pre-autumn ritual of moving the sweaters and long sleeve shirts to the front of the closet. Perhaps this will help sister Autumn hurry herself along. I will dream about planting lettuces, pansies and herbs as soon as the weather breaks.

Yep, I am sure I can hear autumn coming.